How to Not Get Stuck in Life

Everything’s gonna be OK, my Grandma used to say.

I think this is one belief you should keep in your bank of beliefs about life.  This one should be at the top of your list.  This is the belief that can keep you from getting stuck in your life.

Getting stuck really means you have given up.  You do not see any point to trying any more.  It means you have stopped trying to figure things out and move on with your life.  These times in your life come with tragic occurrences such as a death, a divorce or other relationship difficulties or with little events such as disappointments and other miniscule minor “failures”.

If you truly believe “everything’s gonna be OK”, as my Grandma always said, then you will always have a reason to carry on with your life.  There is something to be said about finding out the solution to a problem, whether big or small, and then moving on with your life from there.  You don’t need to know HOW everything’s gonna be OK.  You just have to believe it is true.  If you do believe that the missing piece of the puzzle you are trying to put together to get the picture of the life you want is there somewhere, everything WILL BE OK.

Be mindful this month that everything’s gonna be OK and work at being ‘unstuck’.

Dreaming and Becoming

“Follow your dreams. For as you dream, so shall you become.”
-Unknown

There are a lot of graduates who do not believe this quotation. After filling out applications and sending out resumes; they still do not have the job they dreamed about and worked hard for years to get. They dreamed about becoming accountants, architects, engineers, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. Even though the dream was followed, they don’t feel any closer to it.

The quotation does not promise you will be what you dream. It simply says you shall become. It means by following your dreams you will become the person you want to be, the person you always intended on being. You shall become the man and woman you want and need to be. Following dreams can make you an adventurer and an explorer of your future. You can become a person who tries and continues to try despite setback. You can become a man or woman who sees and takes advantage of every opportunity life has to offer, learn, find peace and something to be happy about.

Be mindful this month of becoming. Do not let what you do in life determine what you become in life.

Attitude and Outlook

One day a man on vacation in France took a walk into the countryside.  He came through a patch of woods into a clearing.  There were a great number of workers building what looked to be a church.

He went up to a man carving on a piece of wood.  “What are you doing?” he asked the man working with great concentration.  “I am carving the cross on the ends of the pews I’ve built,” he replied.

Walking over to another man, he asked, “What are you doing?”  The man answered, “I am putting together the panels of stained glass I made for the windows.”

He then stopped an old woman as she swept up pieces of glass and wood shavings.  “And what are you doing?”  The old woman proudly said, “I am building a cathedral!”

Be mindful this month of your attitude and outlook.  You are not just driving kids to swim lessons and soccer camps.  You are not just mowing the lawn and bar-b-queuing hamburgers and hot dogs.  You are building a family.  You are building a future.

Relationship Help

Gifts are an important part of every relationship.  We give gifts as expressions of our feelings.  We say thank you, I’m sorry, I love you and much more.  Gifts are meant to inspire and motivate.  Others are meant to remind and move one to reflection.  Some are given to connect two as one forever.  One of the best gifts you can give to anyone with whom you are in a relationship is a simple four word question:  What do you need?

When you ask someone this question, you are recognizing them and making them an immediate priority in your life.  This question initiates and strengthens communication. By asking this question, you are letting them know you are interested in them, care about them and are concerned about their welfare.  You are offering them your presence, your loyalty and your commitment to help satisfy their needs.  You are displaying empathy, self-discipline and follow-up to your words of love.  This gift cannot be Googled or found on eBay.  It has no price, and yet its value is immeasurable.  It truly is a gift of love, and a great help to any relationship.

Be mindful this month of asking this very important question to your spouse, your parent, your child, your friend or your co-worker  What do you need?

Be Mindful of Self Image

A few days ago I stopped at a McDonalds for a quick lunch.  A couple of tables down from me were two teenage boys finishing their meal.  As they emptied their trays into the trash can, one of the boys said to the other ”Hey, your change is on the tray.  Don’t forget it.”  The other boy replied, “Don’t worry about it.  It’s only 50 cents.”  When I thought about it later, I wondered how much money would have to have been on that tray before the boy took the time and put out the effort to save it.  75 cents?  Maybe $100.00?  Only he could decide and answer that question.

In many ways we make this same decision every day.  We get to decide the value of things, opportunities and people in our lives, including ourselves.  If we decide they are of little value, we won’t take the time or put out the effort to use them, care for them or save their existence in our lives.  The value we place on things, opportunities and people determines in part the value we place on ourselves.  This all adds up to the strength of our self image.  No matter how good the self care techniques, or the skills we can develop to benefit our lives, if our self image, self esteem and self worth are low, we will not take the time or put out the effort to care for ourselves and maybe even “save” ourselves.  The stronger our self image the better our coping skills for handling life’s problems and difficulties.
Be mindful this month of your self image.  A strong self image is a great and necessary tool for building and rebuilding your life as you move through it. Only you can make the decision that you are valuable enough to “save”.